THE ROLE OF PARENTS IN ERADICATING EARLY SEX AMONG SECONDARY SCHOOL FEMALE STUDENTS

CHAPTER ONE

INTRODUCTION

• Background of the study

For the females, the greatest threat of abusive behaviour on a daily basis comes from the older male pupils in the same secondary school in the form of aggressive sexual advances which at times usually when the girl rejected the boy’s advances turned to assault and threats of rape. It is discovered that there is always a tremendous peer pressure within the schools for older boys to secure girlfriends among the younger girls and this competition was played out by the giving of money or small gifts to the girls and accosting them in corridors and empty classrooms. These activities could at times lead to violent acts. A number of girls reported being victim of ambushes on the way to or from school by gangs of male pupils being subjected to unsolicited physical contact such as touching or pinching on the breasts and buttocks, verbal abuse of a sexual and degrading nature and being beaten or assaulted with stones, sticks or sharp implements. Abusive behaviour by teachers, in the form of requests or demands for sex, unsolicited and provocative or intimidating physical contact and verbal abuse was also talked about. Although universally disapproved of, such behaviour appeared to be accepted as inevitable. In secondary schools where no action was taken to discipline teachers for misconduct, it could easily thrive. The incidence of abusive behaviour of a sexual nature by teachers was lower in numerical terms than that of boys despite the impression created by high profile reports in the media of teachers and head teachers impregnating and in some cases, raping girls in their school. However, though few in number, these cases are more shocking because of the position of trust that the teacher has been placed in and the fact that the relationship, whatever the age of the girl, is an illegal one.

The secondary school female students need sexuality education and parents as essential sources of information and role models can truly influence their children’s sexual development. Two parents, a single parent, a foster parent, a grandparent or any other adult who cares for and nurtures a young person must assume this task because sexuality education involves crucial family, religious and cultural values and convictions. The female students inevitably learn about sex and sexuality from their environment anyway and it is evident that the environment is not always very safe or reliable, so it is up to caring adults to influence their son’s and daughter’s moral development, healthy decision making abilities, self-esteem and comfort with their own sexuality. A parent really has no choice in this matter. The only choice is whether the job will be done well or poorly.

Learning about sex and sexuality has been long misunderstood by parents. For many, it simply means the hasty presentation of some information on reproduction like where babies come from or an anatomy lesson showing that men have a penis and women have a vagina. Others may wait until their child reaches puberty and provide some information on bodily changes, sometimes discussing menstruation but rarely ever mentioning wet dreams. With very few exceptions, these kinds of discussions are initiated and carried out by the mother or a female in the household. Rarely do fathers provide any direct sexual information to their children especially their daughters. Many men continue to believe that their interactions with their children are important simply as sex role models and providers. Yet fathers must have a more meaningful role in this process because they can do much to affect the emotional, social and sexual development of their children.

Sex to many people means genital acts either with a partner or alone. But this definition denies the completeness of our sexuality. Sexuality has to do with being female or male and is conditioned by the cultural and religious views we hold dear. Genital sexual expression can be a very important part of a person’s sexuality but it is a relatively small part of overall sexual learning. The other important elements of sexual learning are body image, gender identity, gender role, family and social role, affection, love, intimacy, relationships, sensuousness and eroticism. All these elements together form the total fabric, the full cloth of sexuality. Accordingly, parents have a wide array of themes and opportunities to discuss sexuality within this context through their daily living with their children.
Talking with them about their clothes and how they look and how their looks make them feel and providing them with your view of the role of women and men in families, in relationships and in society are unthreatening yet critical sexual learning opportunities. Repetitions of these messages throughout their development and daily adult role modeling will provide the needed emphasis on the specific view a parent wants to convey to their child. Being certain these beliefs are shared and repeated by other adults in the household will help avoid problems with mixed and gender biased messages.
Parents can reinforce holistic sexual learning in their homes by watching almost any TV show with their son or daughter. Invariably the message for a woman is in order to succeed she must use her body. That is how she is recognized, receives attention, moves ahead with her friends and gets ahead in the world of work. This is an example of a social lie that is embedded in every network and cable sitcom, in hip hop music and in every magazine read by young women. Boys and young also men receive false messages from all the informational sources around them which regularly and strongly indicate that the way males succeed or achieve is through the use of power, force or wealth, this is also a lie. With every opportunity, parents must assertively challenge these sexuality lies, these untruths about body image, gender and social role and replace them with the truth. The fundamental truth is that girls can succeed by using their brain and not their body; they can also succeed not by their physical appearance or strength but by the strength of their character and their moral core, parents need to communicate with their children about the truth and then reinforce it daily with a living and authentic example.
What is really needed is a willingness to regularly challenge what a parent sees as wrong and gently reinforce what is right, always facing and pushing through the natural developmental resistance expressed by young people towards adults whose ideas are different than others. Staying this course takes time, patience and endurance but the benefits to young people are incalculable.
The beginning of wisdom for parents as they move ahead in the critical job of influencing the sexual learning of their children is to make abundantly clear at every appropriate opportunity in ways that are individually comfortable that their child is loved, prized and valued.

• Statement of problem

Character is contagious as most character exhibited by the kids at the early stage of life is what the parents permit. On this note one can say that Parenting is one of the most amazing experiences ever but it can easily be called the most frustrating too. Every new day brings a new challenge in the life of parents. All parents go through trying times when it comes to handling their kids. Parenting as a whole is a beautiful experience and these phases are like passing clouds. It is on this note that the researcher intends to investigate the role of the parents in combating the menace of early sex among secondary school students.

1.3 Objective of the study

The main objective of the study is to ascertain the role of parents in eradicating early sex among secondary school female students. However, for the successful completion of the study, the following sub objectives were put forward by the researcher:

(i) To examine the advantages of eradicating early sex among secondary school female students

(ii) To identify the factors militating against the sexual life of the secondary school female students

(iii) To ascertain the impact of the parents as a way of guiding the secondary school female students against early sex

(iv) To evaluate the relationship between the parents and the teachers of the female secondary school

1.4 Research question

For the successful completion of the study, the following research questions were formulated:

(i) What are the advantages of eradicating early sex among secondary school female students?

(ii) What are the factors militating against the sexual life of the secondary school female students?

(iii) How can the impact of the parents as a way of guiding the secondary  school female students against early sex be ascertained?

(iv) What is the relationship between the parents and the teachers of the female secondary school?

1.5 Significance of the study

It is conceived that at the completion of the study, the findings will be of great benefit to the print media in airing the people’s opinion; the study will also be of great benefit to the users of the social media on delivering adequate information to the international scene.

It is conceived that the study will also be of great importance to researcher who are in need of information on similar field. Finally, the study will also be of great importance to lecturers, teacher’s students and the general public.

1.6 Scope and limitation of the study

The scope of the study is the role of the parents in eradicating early sex among secondary school female students. However, the study has some constrained and limitations which are:

• Availability of research material: The research material available to the researcher is insufficient, thereby limiting the study.
• Time: The time frame allocated to the study does not enhance wider coverage as the researcher has to combine other academic activities and examinations with the study.
• Finance: The finance available for the research work does not allow for wider coverage as resources are very limited as the researcher has other academic bills to cover.

1.7  Definition of terms

Parent

A parent is a caregiver of the offspring in their own species. In humans, a parent is the caretaker of a child (where “child” refers to offspring not necessarily age). A biological parent consists of a person whose gamete resulted in a child, a male through the sperm and a female through the ovum.

Eradicating

To get rid of something completely or destroy something bad.

Sex

It is the sexual activity including specifically sexual intercourse.

Female

It is denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs and it is distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilized by male gametes.

School

A school is an institution designed to provide learning spaces and learning environments for the teaching of students (or “pupils”) under the direction of teachers.

Student

A student or pupil is a learner and someone who attends an educational institution.

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